Category Archives: Personal

It’s Spring! (2013)

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Hooray! Spring!

Spring is my absolute FAVORITE time of the year.  It’s not bad in Texas, the weather is nice and all – but I definitely do miss my mid-Atlantic Spring.  Over here, we get maybe a month of pretty blooming trees and flowers if we’re lucky. Over there, however, it was a full three month season of glorious flowers, cherry blossoms, beautiful weather during the day (and nights cool enough that you could still sometimes light the fireplace), and .. well, pollen. haha. The pollen over there didn’t bug me, though.

Above: Tulips in Chapel Hill, and Cherry Blossom Trees in Alexandria, VA, 2012.

Alas! I feel like I’m waking up a bit today.  I’ve gotten a bit of spring cleaning on, gathered everything I needed to finish for our taxes, laundry, etc. I think how beautiful it is outside helps; we’ve had a few cloudy days this week.

I’ve been buried at work, too – some of my teammates left, which means the rest of the team has to pick up the slack. My days have been mostly work and less play for the last couple of weeks – but I have been trying on lulu items and taking pictures, so I MUST unload them on the blog soon!

So here’s hoping my next few posts are sooner rather than later.:)

V-D for the Marrieds

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(all right.. I’ll stop with the V-D on Valentine’s Day jokes. It’s overdone, right?)

K and I had a fantastic Valentine’s Day.  I woke up early, and had to be at work by 7 (and therefore had to leave the house at 6:30 to give me coffee and computer boot-up time), and I hid four notes in places he’d be around all day:

- His computer
- The Pantry
- the Vitamin Shelf
- The fridge

Yes, I put a little envelope and note in the fridge. What?? I knew he’d hit the bread. And the peanut butter, which is what I put it on in the pantry.

Maybe about two hours into my day at work, he sent me a note thanking me for the notes. Yay! He found them all!

I came home to a shitstorm of Valentine’s Day. In a good way! Now, he usually does get me flowers and a card (even after he says every year that he won’t since its a Hallmark Holiday). There was a bouquet of roses on the table, the house was SPARKLING CLEAN (omgomgomg), and he was at the stove, putting together a seafood boil. y-u-m!

I walked back to our bedroom to change out of my work clothes, and found a few more items: brand new sheets, a rose on the pillow, and the sweetest card I’ve ever received.

So what have I done to deserve all of this? Well, I guess I’ve loved the man as best as I can. We both have our challenges, and we’re working through them together. Valentine’s may be a Hallmark Holiday, but it is lovely to see a celebration of so much love in the world. I suppose it helps that he was in Colorado for the first half of last week – distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that. I should send him away right before V-D every year! ;)

Lucky Buddha

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So as my readers know, we’ve struggled with having a child. For two years. TWO. YEARS. I guess here and there, I’ve looked into things that are more on the superstitious side (since I can be the superstitious type), and have read forums and blogs of people struggling with something similar.  One thing that comes up is there is frequently a good luck charm, or process, or something, that helps people break through barriers.

I vaguely remember some friends from the board talking about a Panda being a good luck charm, and they passed it around. This was yeeeaaars ago, way before I was remotely interested in reproducing – but that thought stayed in my head over the years. I vaguely remembered the panda thing was because of the fertility issues pandas see – which is part of the reason why they’re endangered species. I thought it was kind of a backwards logic, but it was charming nonetheless.

My local friends here, however, had their OWN good luck charm. Mr. Miyagi.

Secret Sauce

Mr. Miyagi has seen six ladies, and has resulted in 8 babies. Or so. Correct me if I’m wrong on that, ladies. 9?  He’s got a lucky belly and a lucky head that we’re supposed to rub. He sits at the person who needs the luck’s desk (or wherever they may be regularly), and they get knocked up. My lovely friends brought him over to me during lunch on Thursday, and he’s been sitting on my desk for a day and a half.

It’s like he’s watching me. He knows what’s going on in my head! Even though it’s a little freaky, it’s nice to have a companion on my desk. :) A few people have asked me “WTH is that??” and my standard answer is, “Oh… he’s a good luck charm.;)”  I know he’s not a Buddha, but he is a handsome fella.

So let’s hope we don’t break the streak here! He’s 6 for 6 so far, right? Maybe I can be Lucky 7?

More Sleep!

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You know how they say the way you spend your first day of the year is how you spend the rest of the year?  Boy, I’m hoping that’s not true. What did I do all New Year’s Day? Sleep. Pout. Sleep.

So, the theme for 2013 apparently is:

I need more sleep.

“What makes you think that?”  You ask.

Well, there’s that whole New Year’s Day episode. And then, getting the flu that next Friday. So I slept that fever off for about a week. To the point where, last week I left work on Wednesday early because… I needed more sleep.

And then, I missed a half marathon (sob, whine, snort)… because I needed more sleep.

AND, I almost missed an Ops review this morning. Why? OH! I needed more sleep. I woke up 45 minutes before I had to be in the office (which is 15-20 minutes away) on a rainy day.

Here’s hoping the trend ends today, yo.  It’s the 15th!!  I’ve been sleeping for two weeks!

Work and Passion

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Do you ever look at yourself and wonder what you’re passionate about?  For me, I remember what I was passionate about.  And sometimes, I miss those items.

- I was passionate about music at one point. I learned how to play 8 instruments, ffs.
- I was passionate about listening to music. I used to spend hours searching out new things to listen to, and would just sit and listen. Now, music is something in the background almost at all times.  I also used to have conversations with people that were solely made up of song lyrics or titles. Ahhh, the old days.
- I was passionate about learning. I loved to explore different topics (albeit, ones I was interested in).
- I was passionate about work at one point, too. Career, if you will.

Now?  Not so much. I think part of it is my priorities have changed. My priority became trying to have a child. Well, that’s been a disappointing and fruitless journey, and I became so passionate about it that I became angry instead of passionate about, well… anything. And I hate that. It’s so difficult to explain, too, to anyone who hasn’t been there.  It’s isolating. It’s heartbreaking. I can’t really talk to anyone about it. And wouldn’t you know it, another holiday season passed.

I was working on some boring old document yesterday, and plugged my earphones into my phone. A song came on that was out back when I was still passionate about listening to music AND work, and it made me kind of wistful. I remembered what it was like to feel like I was really into something, and decided that it was really, truly time for me to focus back on myself. I mean, sure, I’ve been focused on work and going through the motions – and even succeeding throughout all of this. But, I kind of unfortunately don’t give two shits about it.

Part of it is, I don’t have something that draws me in. Part of it is, I’ve been holding off on making goals around my career because I anticipated having a chunk of time where things would be on hold. I hit the goal I had set for myself by the page of 30, and then had two years of… coasting. That’s right. I’ve been coasting. I’m still coasting. And I’m bored. I’m effective, and I’m good at what I do, but I’m bored.

The thing is, the four or so managers I’ve had within this time period have all been asking me what I want to do next. And I’ve always given them answers that were more exploratory, but also kind of on the bullshit side. I’ve begun to nail down what I’d like to do at my current company, but I’m starting to ask if that’s actually where I still want to be. I’m not sure how much more engaged I can be here at this time. There isn’t any growth in a comfortable space. There aren’t any risks taken.

I still haven’t come up with the answer. BUT.. I’m thinking about it. And, I’m plugging my headphones into my ipod.

It’s 2013!

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Um, did any of you think about 2013?  I never THOUGHT about 2013. Until New Year’s Eve, really. The ball dropped, everyone cheered (as did I), and celebrated. Then, maybe about 20 minutes later I said, “Oh shit. It’s 2013? this better be good. I hadn’t THOUGHT about it.”

And truth is, I haven’t. I’ve been pretty distracted! I mean, it may not be that I’ve been distracted on things worth spending time on, but it’s a strange feeling to think about a year you’re suddenly in and didn’t quite expect it. Maybe it’s just because time flies.

I took a look back to my “It’s 2012!” post to see how I did, now that I can reflect. My intentions were to:

1) Diet – snort. Well, I ended the year about six pounds heavier, and like I predicted – moving back to Texas brought us up a bit. No surprise there, I talk about it a lot. We’ve been eating well in general, but my husband still loves junk food, and still presents things I’d so not regularly eat on a regular basis. Example, popcorn. I never make popcorn. However, he does, so I get an extra 100 calories or whatever eating it just because he made it and it’s there. So for 2013, I’ll work on moderation.

2) Strength. Hell yes, I’m getting there. I actually started a formal weight training program, and like it so far. Actually, I’m on my second. Beginning the second workout plan set me back a little bit – but I’m on track to recover. 2013 says.. keep at it!

3) Sanity – in general, I am more sane. Having a routine here in Austin, having lots of friends I can see at a moments notice have really helped. However, I do still get into funks, and it’s usually all about the same thing. I’ve decided counseling is the best way to deal with it, but I’m having a hard time initiating it. Eh, its only the 3rd of the month. year. whatever.

4) Less – Less, there was! And I love it!  As I mentioned, we did get rid of a lot while we moved, and we’ve bought new items for the house and made subtle home improvements. We’ve done it smartly, however, and rarely pay full price or we DIY most things (Example – the water harvesting system and our back deck – DIY’d!). It’s a lot of fun. 2013 says keep at that one, too.

So there you have it. Since the year has passed, I’ll very unlikely get around to blogging about the things I meant to (like those outstanding race reports), but I’d like to go upwards on onwards.

Surprises!

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..and maybe not good? Or maybe so good?

I never expected myself to be the type who GOOGLED. and I am googling. My sweet husband is long asleep, and I’m out searching for answers.

But to what, exactly? I don’t know. Why we are where we are. Why, it is for anyone, that you long for something slightly different but love where you are.

So, I Google. And I come across different blogs, from people who are far more eloquent than I. To posts like this. The posts that are so familiar, so heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. They are the posts that remind me of tonight, when I told my husband, “You’re still my favorite person. But Nina is a close second.”

Long Drives

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Note: I started this post while I was driving, using the WordPress iPad app – and decided I’d finish later. Oops. :)

*YAAAAWWWWN*

Its been a long day. I had a grumpy/stressy night, and didn’t sleep very well as a result. I woke up far too early for a day off, got a workout in, and K and I took off to my parents’ house.

So, as a general rule – we’re spoiled travelers (as you may have gathered if you’re a regular reader). If we have to drive longer than 3.5 hours, we fly. However, we decided it’d be fun to embark on the long drive (5 hours) and bring the dogs along with us so they could be in on that Thanksgiving action, too!

And boy, was that hard.

Not for me, so much – I’ve done that drive hundreds of times, and know exactly where we are and how long we have to go by sense at any given point – but for my husband, it was murder. Poor baby. Haha. He kept asking things that equate to the adult version of “Are We There Yet?” and I’d try to helpfully point out things on the way. Like, “There’s a rest stop in 2 exits, and WE NEED TO GO.”  Or, “Do you see that big hill? That’s pretty much the halfway point.”

His poor foot was in pain from not being elevated for such a long time, but stubborn male that he is, he wouldn’t let me drive. Mostly because he drives faster.  We hit an actual traffic jam in Falfurrias, Texas.

Turkey Day Recap

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I love Thanksgiving. It’s always been a holiday that I could count on reconnecting with family, outside of my immediate family, and have a great time seeing everyone. I’ve probably posted about it over the years, but I always have the most fun when I’m around the folks I grew up with.

This was the first Thanksgiving I brought my Gringo Husband around – and it was the first time I brought him to “The Ranch” to hang out with my Mom’s family. He’s met my Dad’s on several occasions, with weddings and the way they actually travel to visit me, but not my Mom’s. so, he got a small taste of what it was like out on a true Border town, checking out the family property (where my mother wants to open an organic farm in her retirement), and checking out the bridge to Mexico that carries the family name… And the Border Wall that borders the property.

I wish I had taken pictures for y’all – it’s really surreal, especially growing up while the property changed so much. When we were growing up, there was no bridge or border wall – just miles and miles of land to be seen.

Anyhow, we got there, and K got to meet about twenty people whose names he won’t remember – but I was SO SO happy, my cousins who lived in Germany moved back, to the San Antonio area! It was great to reconnect with them, see their baby girl (who is growing so quickly), and make plans to get together soon.

I am always happy to leave the valley, but I’m always sad to leave the old houses we visited each Sunday. It’s a conundrum.

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A funny story – Thanksgiving morning, I got up at around 7 to feed the dogs. Then, I went back to bed. I don’t sleep well at my parents’ house, Mmmkay? I got up and moving about an hour and a half later to find… My parents fed the dogs, too! So, they got two breakfasts. Only, they fed Chiclet enough food for two meals. So, she had three meals worth within two hours.

Needless to say, she had a very good Turkey Day.

Foot Notes

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My hubby recently had his foot worked on – a few years back, before I met him, he sprained it while running. He left it without significant treatment, and it grew what we thought was a ganglion cyst. He got the foot tendons repaired, and nerve endings cleared out about two weeks ago. Well, cleared out may not be the right word, but it was something like that.

So, he’s had it wrapped up and in a boot for a couple of weeks. He FINALLY had a post op appointment, and it turns out it wasn’t a cyst.. It was a tumor! It’s benign, thankfully. We got that news today.

Apparently, when he damaged the nerve, it regenerated oddly and formed a cyst like tumor. Since the repair, he’s lost feeling in half of his left foot. We’re hoping it’ll come back! But we’ll keep an eye on it. It seems like he’s on the mend, so I’m thankful for that.